XLNCE: Saints Row: The Third

Controlled Stupidity and Flawless Mechanics
How Saints Row: The Third balances its main attractions.


Saints Row games have developed a reputation as the retarded cousin of the legendary Grand Theft Auto saga. It seemed that while critics were ogling over the harsh realism and brutal, terrorism resembling game-play, Saints Row stood in its wake. 

Having been an avid player of both GTA IV and Saints Row: The Third I can confidently say that they are both fantastic games. Yet the not so brutal truth is apparent: Saints Row most definitely is the retarded cousin, and for that, I fucking love it.

Reason being...

  • Saints Row's developers do not give a fuck.

Whether its the lack of consequence for murdering as many civilians you want, the ability to beat cops to death with a giant dildo, every ownable property being an extremely graphic sexual innuendo  clothing stores that specialize in bondage and kink, or the ability to have a naked character with chrome green skin and watermelon sized knockers; this is instantly realized in Stillwater.

  • Saints Row's developers (in another respect) absolutely give a fuck.

Saints Row: The Third is a fantastic game. Every mechanic is fine tuned. The upgrade system is extremely rewarding. The combat is frantic, challenging, and bad-ass  Activities are aplenty and unique. Most noteworthy is the game's sense of progress is very on point. A player of the third Saints game will undeniably notice the time and effort that went into this. Not to mention that it sports single-handedly the most intricate character customization I have seen in any game to this day.

It is not a game for the feint of heart, or those made uncomfortable by gimp chariots  But it is truly a standard of XLNT balance.

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